003 - You can talk all you want, but my skin is really thick.

[want_take_have]

[Buffy - Filtered 57%]

Hey, B. [I'm back] Anything new I oughta know about Drusilla and her latest boy toy?

[/end filter]

[When the audio feed begins, the sounds of whispers and quiet murmurs can be heard in the background, though they're too distant and jumbled to pick out the individual messages.

Faith, however, can be heard clearly...and while she's not freaked out, she's definitely on guard.]

Seeing as I've been off playing civic servant, or whatever you wanna call it, does anyone wanna tell me why I just landed in the middle of a Disney movie? The talking animals were weird enough, but now I gotta listen to trees? That's just overkill.

[the sound of brush crunching underfoot starts as she turns towards the village, making her way through the trees]

I'm just sayin'...if some stuffed up pimp comes galloping through on a white horse, I'm not responsible for my--

[she trails off as she catches a familiar name coming from one of the trees, falling silent in order to listen. She moves closer to the source, letting her catch the tail end of what the trees are saying.]

"--super phallic imagery of shoving a sword through your lover's chest."

[She's forgotten the journal's in her hand, now, as she just stares uncertainly at the bark]

...Hold up. Are you telling me that--

"Well I heard that the other slayer totally has a thing for Buffy. It’s obvious she just wants to get in her pants."

[She gives a strangled noise as she takes a few steps back, caught between confusion and pure fury]

The fuck?!

[someone want to speak up before she sees if she's strong enough to uproot a tree?]

Comments

[thedicearecast]

You can't.

[Certainly not without getting an earful from Amelia. Wolfwood and Milly deserve to be happy, and they are. It's not right or fair they can't be back home.]

That's one of the worst things about this place. As horrible as it is, it's still the only option some people have. They don't have a life to go back to if they go.

[want_take_have]

[that gets her to take another drink]

I know that feeling.

[thedicearecast]

[...]

You're not...you aren't dead, are you?

[Please say no. Amelia doesn't want to hear that someone else she likes has died in their world.]

[want_take_have]

Huh?

[her gaze cut sideways at the hesitation in Amelia's voice] Oh. Not officially, no. Still kickin' and breathin'. But sometimes it feels like I might as well be, 'cause I'm definitely not living.

[she takes another drink, but she's not cruel enough to leave it at that. Not when it seems like she's made Amelia uncomfortable enough with the implication]

I'm in prison. 25 to life, so who knows. Maybe my parole will come up in a couple'a decades.

[she says it casually, as if it didn't bother her in the least, but she doesn't look at Amelia when she says it]

[thedicearecast]

[Amelia is pretty encouraged to work on her own drink then. She likes Faith, pretty much has from the start--but people don't go to prison because they do good deeds.]

What'd you do?

[Unlike Faith, Amelia isn't looking away. She needs to hear the what, and also the why she didn't ask.]

[want_take_have]

[her tone is flat. She's good at convincing herself (and others) that she doesn't actually care.

It's just a bit harder to do when you know it's all a lie]

Murder 2.

[thedicearecast]

[A flat tone isn't a good thing in this case.]

You don't sound like you feel guilty over it.

[want_take_have]

[she shrugs] Being sorry ain't gonna bring them back.

[but she's still not looking at Amelia. Or correcting her. Because she is sorry...terribly sorry... but forgiveness isn't something she expects or feels like she deserves]

[thedicearecast]

Doesn't mean you shouldn't feel sorry.

[Amelia won't offer forgiveness. It's not her place. But looking at Faith, seeing how the woman doesn't return the gaze? That keeps her from getting up from the table.]

So are you?

[want_take_have]

["You don't get it, Faith. You killed a man."

"No, you don't get it. I don't care."

She takes another drink]

Does it matter?

[thedicearecast]

Of course it matters.

[Forget the differences in their tolerance. Amelia's matching Faith drink for drink now. And she's worried, because Faith isn't answering.]

Just tell me, okay?

[want_take_have]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[it's short, and she feels vaguely sick after saying it. She always did. It's just words....too far from anything significant or meaningful.

But then, there wasn't anything else better]

[thedicearecast]

Okay. Good.

[It's not forgiveness. Amelia tosses back the rest of her drink, then goes for the bottle without skipping a beat.]

The worst man I ever knew stole and robbed and killed, and didn't care about who he hurt. He didn't feel guilty at all.

[But Faith does. And that's good. Amelia can at least accept her, so long as she regrets it.]

I hate him.

[want_take_have]

Right. Of course. Can't blame you.

[She's a bit distant, though, and she's maybe a bit quicker than before about reaching for the bottle]

[thedicearecast]

[Amelia waits for Faith to fill up her glass.]

You aren't like that anymore. [It's not a question. Amelia doesn't think Faith can be, if she really regrets it.]

[want_take_have]

So people keep telling me.

[some of them, anyway]

[thedicearecast]

...So what do you tell yourself?

[want_take_have]

[she gave an uncomfortable shrug] I don't know. Guess I'm still figuring that part out.

[thedicearecast]

At least you're honest about it. [She goes for another drink, downing it fast.]

[want_take_have]

Whoopee for me, I guess.

[yeah...getting drunk was sounding like a great idea right about now]

[thedicearecast]

It's more than a lot of people will do.

[Amelia sets down her empty glass, then studies it for a moment.]

You do anything stupid from now on, I get to hit you.